i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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