ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
