Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize