I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Randomize
