Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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