How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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