so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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