i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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