I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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