I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
