He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
