Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
