if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's official drugs can't kill me
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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