am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
