Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
