i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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