I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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