yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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