we made out on top of his cat.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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