o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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