The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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