I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
