that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
