I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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