Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
