Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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