i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm passing your future prison.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
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