Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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