meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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