Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
