It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
