So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
