Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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