the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
