shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
