he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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