ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
