Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
