wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Did I show you my penis last night?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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