Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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