toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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