I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
