oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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