dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
