Me too!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
