he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
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Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
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before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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