I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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