it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
