No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
