dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
