your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
