did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
