my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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