are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
