How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
