he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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