OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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