Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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