He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
