I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
