Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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