enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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