But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
