I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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