Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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