what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
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I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
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I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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