Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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