I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
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I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
