drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Randomize
