Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
