For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
